Wedding details

We went to the wedding of one of the teachers at our school last weekend.  In most respects, the ceremony resembled a Christian wedding held in the States -- except for the Swahili, of course.  The bride wore a long white gown with a veil.  She was accompanied by one attendant in a dark pink dress.  The groom and his best man were dressed in black suits with dark pink shirts and pocket handkerchiefs.  The sanctuary was also decorated with dark pink bunting.

The church, in a setting with a beautiful view of Mt. Meru in the background, is a large, plain building made of cement blocks covered with stucco.  It has a tin roof with exposed beams soaring high above the parishioners.  Carved into the end wall of the interior is a 15 to 20 foot tall cross.  Clear windows cover most of the right and left walls of the room.  There are no pews, but white plastic chairs are provided for the congregation.   The church can hold several hundred people.

We settled into our seats before the ceremony was ready to start.  Soon, the groom and best man came through the door, in slow procession with relatives behind them.  Lively recorded music played while all performed what I think of as the Tanzanian processional two-step.  (One foot moves forward, touches the ground lightly, and then forward and slightly outward with a firmer step.  Then the other foot repeats.  Step STEP, step STEP.  It produces a deliberate, slightly swaying gait.)  A few of the female relatives broke into high-pitched ululation as the group trailed down the aisle.

Some delay followed.  The ceremony and reception were photographed and video-taped, and many times the proceedings were stopped to allow the participants to pose for pictures.

The bride and her party appeared at the door.  The groom and best man walked slowly back to meet them and escort them into the sanctuary.  Then, they all moved down the aisle again to the front of the church, this time with the bride's family stepping behind in a joyful crowd.  Everyone then took their seats.

There were songs -- one by the church choir and another by a soloist.  The ceremony that followed was familiar.  A sermon, albeit a long one, prayers, and the wedding vows.  Finally, the couple embraced.  Then, everyone sat down to watch a duet sung and acted, which turned out to be something of a morality tale with the theme of respect for one's husband(!)   Afterward, the bridal party exited the church in the same deliberate fashion that they had entered it.

The reception was as elaborately choreographed as the wedding ceremony.  Each family member of the newly-wedded couple was introduced to the assembled guests.  Then, the "cake" was brought out -- as in other important events (see my earlier blog, "Confirmation Day") this was a whole, roasted goat, complete with head, horns, and green leaves sticking out of its mouth.  The bridal couple made the first slice and then fed each other a piece of the meat on toothpicks.  Then they proceeded to feed bits of meat to the close family members and most honored guests.  "Champagne" -- probably non-alcoholic -- followed.  Big tumblers were poured for the bride and groom, and they gave each other a sip, then gave sips to the close family members.  After that, small cakes (pastry, this time) were presented to family groups.  The teachers of our school were presented with one as well, as honored guests.

The next item on the agenda was the bridal couple's giving of gifts to their parents.  These were lengths of fabric for clothing.  No first-world trinkets here, but solid, useful gifts.

With  each presentation, the bride made a deep curtsey.  It isn't easy to give a sip of wine or a bite of meat to a standing person while one is sinking to the ground, so, in some cases, the groom supported her arm with his.  (The better not to spill, perhaps?)  the groom did not bow when the bride curtsied.  The woman is the one who has to demonstrate humility.

(As a side note, the couple dropped by the school a few days ago.  When I was introduced to the young woman again, she greeted me with her eyes on the ground, as a sign of respect to me, a higher-status old person.  I have noticed this in other young women, but not to such a pronounced degree.  It bothers me, and is certainly not what I am used to seeing from confident, respected, Western women.)

Finally, it was time for the guests to give gifts to the couple.  People formed a line and danced their way to the front of the room, holding their gifts above their heads. Our group of  teachers brought a glass-topped coffee table and matching stools.  Other groups of guests gave a bed, loveseats, and a refrigerator.  The gifts were handed to an attendant, and then we were able at last to greet the couple.  It was, literally, a receiving line.

After the gifting, dinner was served.  As usual in Tanzania, guests first had an opportunity to wash their hands.  There was an attendant with a pitcher of water and basin at the beginning of the buffet table.  The food served was plain rice, pilau (seasoned rice), bits of beef in gravy, fried chicken, fried cooking bananas, stewed cooking bananas, cucumber salad, watermelon, and orange segments.  We ate with our hands, in the traditional way.

Dinner marked the end of the festivities for us.  Our group had to rush out after dinner to make our way back to our town, well over 40 km away.  So, I don't know if the bride tossed her bouquet, or what other concluding activities there were.  I just know that it was a very interesting day.